Love should not hurt: Breaking the silence on domestic violence!

Love should not hurt.

Domestic violence hurts.

What is domestic violence?

• It is not patient, it is not kind.

• It involves envy, it involves boasting, it is prideful.

• It is rude, it is self-seeking, it is easily angered, it keeps a record of wrongs.

• It delights in evil and hates the truth.

• It does not protect, it does not always trust, it never hopes, it never perseveres.

• Domestic violence fails you.

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I am very passionate about this topic because I unfortunately have been an indirect victim of domestic violence. I had to go through it with a family member, so I saw the true meaning of this unfortunate reality that happens to women and men every day. Even I, Erica Montes, lived in a domestic violence shelter to help my family member get through this tough time. It was strict, sad, disheartening, but a necessary move to get her out of that situation.

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Also one of my friends from high school who I cheered was recently murdered by her husband. She received her wings on August 8, 2019. #RestinpeaceYP

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The statistics are alarming. On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men. Also, ~324,000 pregnant women are abused each year in the U.S. and are in a more vulnerable position when pregnant. Domestic violence happens in our neighborhoods and families and doesn’t discriminate against race, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation or economic status.

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As a OB/GYN and an advocate for women, I have to be more aware of this reality and make sure I screen all my patients for ANY FORM of abuse. I want all women to know that violence is not only physical, and that if it starts out even as emotional or verbal, it definitely can escalate to physical and can lead to major consequences. I want to help make women aware of this unfortunate reality! I want to help them realize it’s not ok, they should stand up for what is right, they should realize their value and say ENOUGH is ENOUGH!

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October is domestic violence awareness month, but we should definitely keep this in mind every month, and do as much to make women aware that not all violence is physical. If you or anyone you know is suffering from any sort of violence please call 1-800-799-SAFE. Thank you.

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